No. Not all at once.

I hear that the average commute to work is about 30 minutes each way. Which is about 250 hours a year – what can you do with 250 hours? Well, Rosetta Stone claims you can learn Korean in 250 hours (just level 1) which gives the ability to ask where the restroom is, and to make sure you don’t nod “yes” to the waiter he asks if you want it “Spicy or Spicy-spicy?.”  I took 2 years of Spanish and all I really know how to say with confidence is:

Donde esta la zapateria?”  – “Where is the shoe store?”

Seriously. That’s my takeaway? Why was I not learning useful phrases like:

  • Is this a prison or a mall?
  • How much is that miniature giraffe?
  • Is breakfast still being served?

What else? Pilots have to fly 250 hours to qualify for license. Yet there isn’t a time requirement to take the driving exam. Who else finds this disturbing? Flying in open air where there usually aren’t any people, just angry birds. But driving….you just need a car. And it doesn’t even have to be your car. Which reminds me of an awesome song “Beerrun

B-double-e-double-r-u-n….Beer run.

B-double-e-double-r-u-n….Beeeeeer ruuuuun.

All you need is 10 and a fiver, a car and a key and a sober driver…. B-double-e-double-r-u-n….Beer run.

What were we talking about?

Oh yeah, 250 hours. Apparently, flameless votive candle last 250 hours. Where did I learn this? I was at Target buying fake candles. Which look real. Like SO real. I have an unnatural fear of burning down the house. This explains my incessant lint trap cleaning and why I have actually driven back to my house just because I think there might be a chance I left the iron on. Which is ironic….because I don’t actually iron.

Yeah. Just go with me on this one.

You know what I need? I need serenity now. Which works out great, because you can learn to be a Yoga master in about 250 hours. Okay, like a flexible person can become a Yogi (the master, not the bear) in 250 hours. Not me, I’m too busy asking where you got those cute shoes…and then looking for a 10 and a fiver.

Donde esta el sober driver?

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